The Heart's Sonata
by SoraXReiko
Summary: The heart is an instrument that plays the melody of emotions. It sings to confess love and convey feelings. Kumiko's heart always sang music to reach Reina, only to be discouraged and ignored. Kumiko's POV. Please enjoy. :)
1. Melancholy in the Sunlight

I looked up from my music sheet with a sigh, leaning back on my wooden seat.

The wind gently whistled past, and the sun glared its last rays when the clouds slowly devoured its light. The gleam it casted on my euphonium vanished.

 _Reina…_

I bit my lip. "Shit."

I really should stop thinking about her right now. I sat there and tightened my grip on my euphonium. My sweat slid off my chin, creating a darkened blot on my skirt.

"Off with the foul mouth again, huh?" a voice emanated from behind. I vigorously jumped up in surprise, knocking the music stand in front of me. I was glad I didn't mentioned her name out loud.

"Reina! Don't scare me like that!" I blurted as I turned to her, my face hot with embarrassment and maybe, just maybe, the slowly growing affection I felt for her.

I can't tell her anything. Not when I'm sure to be rejected. I felt a pang of pain in my chest, slowly spreading across my body and making me numb all over. I loved her… I loved her since that day I saw the passion in her eyes, unbent even by that dud gold we achieved during the competition. I was attracted by the beauty she hid within; the honesty and unfamiliarity of the behavior she possessed. And I loved her… I loved her because I saw the adoration she wanted to express. But not to me.

It's always Taki-sensei. I was sick— so darn sick of it. But I'm not going to say anything.

Atleast, not yet.

"Wanna practice together?" Reina asked me, holding her trumpet in her right hand, and picking up the music stand with the other. Dazed, I bent to pick up my music sheet. I held the euphonium in front of me and took a deep breath.

Together we played the music that resonated within our hearts; mine dancing a melancholic melody in my chest, hesitating whether to be overjoyed that I am with Reina, or continue its depressed dance over and over as it helplessly accepted the fate of being unloved by the person who gave me so much reason to live. I've fallen in a pit I dug myself, so deep there's no hope of returning. There is only forward. And it scared me that in the darkness I was fighting alone, and I felt miserable thinking that perhaps she will leave me all by myself in that dark pit of infatuation I had for her. No… It was more than infatuation. It was a love with genuine commitment. A love I have never dared to give, of which Reina is an exception. I wanted my music to reach her— for it was only through music that our love is mutual.

All that time we spent playing I had my eyes on her. As I always had. A swirl of paradoxical thoughts nagged at me, and I did my best to wave them away.

She was everything to me. More than anything I can have, and more than anything I can deserve.

And the last note faded.

"Reina."

"Hmm?"

"I love you." _Look at me more. Look at me the same way you looked at Taki-sensei._

"I know." _Love me like you love him._

And I knew that I could have begged for her love. Yet something was holding me back. Love is… genuinely given. Surrendered. And I want her to love me that way. The way I loved her.

No one should ever beg to be loved.

The sky had dimmed and clouds promised an incoming rain. The gentle wind turned to gusts, whipping across tree branches and blades of fresh, green grass.

 _I wonder if I will ever win her heart._ A trip to the moon is more likely to happen than that, I thought.

I smiled. "Let's go. I don't want you soaked when you go home." I offered her my hand and Reina took it without hesitation.

"Kumiko?"

"Yeah?"

"Nothing." Reina grinned as we walked back to our classroom. Her eyes glittered with mischief; her skin glowed and her hair shone even in the dimness that shrouded us. She was beautiful beyond words I can ever utter to describe it.

 _Reina…_

You really are the sweetest melody to my beloved music. Whether you love me or not, I doubt it will change.

* * *

A.N.

The shortest chapter I have ever published. It's been a long time since I wrote my last story, which I can't even finish. I haven't watched season 2 yet so pardon the crude intro. For those who took the time to read, thank you. :)


	2. Keepsake

I watched ants crawl past the window, crawling into the darkness outside. The moon peeked from ghostly clouds, and stars dotted the sky with dim light. I closed the windows in my room, and sat by my low desk facing my cactus.

"You know. I loved her with all my heart, I did. And I don't really expect her to return it. Just… accept it. There's a difference, right? Accepting and returning feelings. But does accepting it mean she loves me too? What do you think, little cactus? Unlikely, huh… It's always Taki-sensei… Anyway—"

I was abruptly disrupted by the door creaking open. My sister stood there watching me, her hand still firmly planted on the doorknob.

"What?" I said with indignation. "You never knock. When will you learn your manners?"

"Once you stop talking to your cactus like an idiot." She snapped back. She handed over a DSLR camera which I asked her to buy for me yesterday. It was because of a simple reason. When I saw Reina smile, I was so captivated. I couldn't stop thinking about it. And I don't want to forget moments like that. It's so fleeting… and I can barely realize how I did not enjoy the moment enough.

It took way too long before I realized that the best moments pass by quickly, and someday I will never be able to remember how a memory ever felt like the very moment it happened. I could write it in a diary, but I knew that feelings captured in photographs are feelings that cannot be captured by mere words. We live dependent on our eyes, to see the beauty of the things around us, and photographs make memories last forever.

One thing I'm sure of is I don't want to forget. I wanted to take pictures. That I may always remember. If ever these feelings will fade, I know I will always remember what it felt like to love you.

 _But you… will you forget me?_

 **Perhaps you need it more than I do, Reina.**

"What did you say?" My sister asked. I muttered out loud again.

"I-I said I really appreciate it. Thanks." I muttered louder without looking at her in the eyes, pretending to be distracted by the manual I found. She eyed me for the last time and gently closed the door. I put down the camera on the table with a sigh.

I don't even know how to use this. It look complicated.

"Kumikooo! Dinner's ready." My mom yelled from the dining area.

"Coming!" I'll figure it out later.

Alla Hornpipe, huh. That's an easy one to practice. Thank God Taki-sensei's not around. Guess I can fool around with my camera for a bit. Just a little…

I admit it felt a little awkward and ridiculous practicing with a camera dangling from your neck. It looked as if I don't want to let it go. Though it is indeed half-true. It is new after all. Though it makes me sad that the memory is already quarter full because of Sapphire and Hazuki. They've been running around with my camera for the past few hours taking pictures— even when the background is the same over and over. And being in the bass section with the two of them, escape seems more impossible. Even Asuka-senpai's interest was piqued because these two gals had been bothering me for five minutes already. I don't think I can handle three people at the same time.

"C'mon, Kumiko! Let us borrow it just for a little bit!" Hazuki pleaded as she struggled with her tuba. "Tubacabra wants to take picture too! Don't you, Tubacabra?"

"You sound like an idiot." I remarked.

"Hey!"

Sapphire's eyes glittered. I guess I have to run for it.

"Well, okay…" I said, slowly putting down my euphonium. Both of them are still holding their instruments which will make it harder for them to catch me. "I'll lend it to you, alright... if you catch me!" Then I quickly bolted through the open door. Hearing the late thud of both instruments being hastily put down.

"Kumiko! Get back here! Wait— You two!" Asuka-senpai shouted as the other two sprinted after me. I turned a corner and almost stopped when I saw Reina entering an empty classroom to practice alone. My neck felt fatigued as the camera dangled heavily. "Stop right there, Kumikoooo!" Hazuki sure is fast. Sapphire's been left behind I suppose. "Reina, let me in!" I whispered with agitation. She beckoned me to come in, and I jumped inside and crouched exactly a second before Hazuki came around the corner. She didn't seem to notice me.

"Oh, hi. Which way did Kumiko go?" Hazuki asked politely between gasps of air. I stayed quiet, hoping Reina wouldn't give me away. This is my perfect opportunity to take pictures, after all.

 _Just us, huh._ My face reddened at the thought and immediately felt embarrassed. _Calm down, Kumiko. Your heart._

"She went left." I looked at Reina's face as she spoke, and saw nonchalance. Phew. A few, small and light footsteps thudded closer and closer, and eventually stopped by the door, making me press against the wall more tightly.

"Thank you! Let's go, Sapphire." And their footsteps faded.

I let out a heavy sigh. "Thanks."

"Don't think too little of our practices. We're not here to fool around."

"Yeah, I know." You said that because of Taki-sensei, didn't you?

I felt dispirited by her comment, and taking photographs didn't appeal much anymore. Taki-sensei this, Taki-sensei that. Even in every subtle comment there's always Taki-sensei. It was worse than a haunting nightmare. I should back down from this fight, for I know I am fighting a losing battle anyway. But I knew it was not me who will decide. My heart will. And it scares me that I can do nothing about the way I feel, feeling powerless amidst the struggle between winning her heart and supporting her love for another person.

She began to play her trumpet, which sang the most beautiful melodies only she can play. And in the midst of music, I took a picture of the most beautiful girl I have ever met, playing the most beautiful melody I have ever heard, with tears streaming down my face.

I have to stop.

I can't hold on forever. Not like this.

Perhaps this will be my last memory of you.


	3. Love is Confusing

So much has changed. I can't keep up. I just can't get used to it.

The sky darkened into a sad and gloomy spectacle, and I felt that it, too, felt the way I did.

I lost someone, and I have no idea why.

Into the corridor, I walked slowly, intending to stop by the faculty room just like always. I knew I wouldn't see Kumiko today, much less accompany me wait here, because I saw her leave without me. And to top it off, she started avoiding me for no reason. I knew she wasn't angry. She was… sad.

And I was the reason why.

I don't know what I did, nothing bad that I can recall to make her evade me like that. It was a stabbing feeling in my chest I could not get rid of. She was a special person to me. A best friend who understands me better than anyone else can. She's someone I can't go without. She is my other half, and I am paralyzed without her by my side, supporting me with my decisions and encouraging me. She's the only person who accepts me for who I am, and seeing her well and okay to not be with me… it's so frustrating. How can you be like this to me?

I tried to forget my anxiety and mixed feelings toward my current circumstance with Kumiko and peeked through the small window to search for Taki-sensei, and unfortunately he wasn't there. His chair stood unoccupied, and his things are nowhere to be found. He must have left early, which is unusual since he usually stays so late at school. My heart sank, and that throbbing pain in my chest intensified.

Should I stop? This love of mine… it's going nowhere. I'm wasting so much energy on something obviously unattainable. I am merely a student of his. But he is someone I looked up to… someone I loved dearly.

Someone I cannot let go of.

I dragged my feet towards the school gate, staring upon the beautiful city lights illuminating on a pitch dark night.

* * *

I felt like I am nothing to her.

"She didn't even approach me or ask what's wrong. I think she's fine with it. And I'm not." Tiny spikes of the cactus glinted in the beam of my tiny bed lamplight. This cactus is a living—non-living? — witness of the shit that I utter to it. It knows every ounce of my secrets, and probably my sister does to if she listens to my crazy conversations with a desert plant. And she even likes eavesdropping.

"Then why do I still keep the act, you ask? I wonder…"

Maybe it's because I'm silently wishing that when I am gone, you will come to realize that you do love me. It is but a fleeting wish of mine, and these mixed feelings I have for you makes it harder to know which side of the coin I reside to. Should I leave? Should I wait? Or am I in between just like where I always am because I'm a fucking idiot who can't clearly decide?

Because I don't know what I want anymore. You made me like this.

I love you dearly, and you cannot reciprocate these feelings as I am only a friend to you. And I don't want to be by your side forever as a friend alone, but confessing is also too risky. Whatever the case, I'm sure you will not accept this love of mine, because someone is already in your heart. I have no room to squeeze in it. We'll only be hurting ourselves.

"Love is so confusing," I muttered as I turned off the lamplight and went to bed, mess cluttered about the room.

* * *

"You are late as hell," my sister grumbled through the doorway as I scramble back and forth, taking books and sweeping pens inside my bag. I probably should not have idled last night and packed my things before going to bed. Ahhhh! Reina. It's your fault. You're to blame for everything that's happening.

"And you didn't wake me up!" I said through gritted teeth and stumbled outside with a sandwich in hand, speeding toward school.

I'll see you again… And that means the need to avoid you once more. The thought makes tears well up in my eyes, but I know that continuing this relationship of ours would hurt even more. I need to trust myself with the resolve to forget, no matter how hard it will be for me. Life is a coin toss. You choose either head or tail, no in between.

With every step as difficult and painful as walking on shattered glass, I arrived. And of all people, the first person I laid my eyes upon arriving was you, Reina Kousaka. The person that I truly loved with all my heart. My confidence shook in your presence and the struggle intensified when I saw you. You were waiting for me and it hurts me to think that you did this.

 _I have to ignore her. Just walk and pass her by. It will be easy…_

 _It will be. It will be…_

I walked without making eye contact, my heart hammering constantly in my chest, every beat conveying absolute misery of not being with you. But I have to do this. I can't be with you, and you can't be with me. I can't fall in love with you any more than I have already. Maybe tomorrow I will long for you more, and I will want to be with you, and the day after that, and another day after that.

You have been someone I cannot let go of. I am afraid and lonely without you. But I know that someday, I will be okay without you, and I will be happy.

And it scares me to think that one day I will be.

* * *

A.N.

It's really short, but I think it's necessary tho. Sorry to keep you waiting. Love ya'll!~~

You people will always be the reason why I write these stories. :)

P.S. I wanted to convey how some people make their decisions and what's going on in their head. The confusion when it comes to giving up and continuing. I also wanted to give a little peek on Reina's feelings~~

'Til next time!


	4. Accepting Confrontation

"Ahhh, shit." I murmured, frantically scanning through loads of paper and textbooks. You've just got to be kidding me. I forgot my math book. This particular teacher even hates it when that happens. Sapphire was looking concerned, getting the hint that I have failed in finding my textbook, and so was Hazuki. I just sighed, perhaps a little too loudly, because our teacher snapped her head towards me so swiftly that I violently jumped up in my seat in surprise. I nervously picked up a book that looked similarly with my math book, and pretended to listen. She looked suspiciously, but nothing more _. I just need to put up with this a little longer_ , I thought. When she paces back and forth and passes by me, I would bend so low so that she would never notice that I had a different book. I can hear silent sighs of relief from my friends. And then she was glancing at me… Reina. I couldn't tell whether she was worried about me, because she faced me with her usual poker face look. She went back to her business afterwards. I felt empty.

"You idiot! You scared me!" Hazuki almost yelled during lunch. She exhibited a more violent reaction than I did though I was the one who forgot the textbook. I laughed, a little shakily at that.

"At least I did not get caught, right?"

"But that was waaaaay too close for comfort," Hazuki retaliated. "You know how much she likes to prey on us poor little kids! She's gonna rant about you all week long!" She shuddered as if a cold wind passed her direction, remembering _her_ own experience being ranted about all week long. I smiled. "Good thing I learned from your experience, Hazuki."

We ate heartily, but seeing Reina eat alone was a burden to my heart. She always wanted to be alone, that's a given. But to have someone by your side is a lot better than being alone, and I don't think Reina is any different. Her hair fell in front of her face as she stooped, and I had the slightest desire of wanting to tuck it behind her ear. I want to watch her more, even from afar.

 _I used to be the one who sat by her side_ , I thought. _I still could be._ I shrugged the thought away. Here I go again. The day passed by quickly, and the sun is already setting from the horizon. Hazuki, Sapphire and I stayed behind to clean the classroom when I noticed Reina hurrying off, and I don't want to think about it because I know what's up. Because I've been there, I've seen it many times.

"Why are you grimacing? Did something happen?" Sapphire asked, her brows crunching in worry. I loosened my face muscles and forced a smile and shrugged. We packed our bags and walked out of the classroom. With every step I took, my anxiety grew. I don't want to see anything.

But I guess the odds are against me until I get home tonight. I just wish they would side to me for once. In the shadowy hallway I saw her standing there, again waiting outside of the faculty room. I know for sure Taki-sensei is there. I… I'm worried. I have no idea why. Hazuki and Sapphire chatted as we walked. Reina slowly lifted her head up, and she looked at me with a pained expression before looking away timidly. I swallowed my feelings and the urge to tear up and walked past. She was meters, then inches away from me, and when we slightly touched, my heart momentarily stopped thumping. Yeah, I loved her. I love her still. And tonight you will still be the last thing on my mind, and the first one when I wake up. And the current relationship going on between us will always be a haunting nightmare for me.

 _Get home safely, Reina_ , I thought. And though I have a habit of saying things out loud, I didn't this time. We continued on, and I restrained myself from looking back.

We parted ways very early at the train station, and I walked home alone. As soon as I arrived, I placed my phone next to my cactus, threw my bag across the floor and crashed to my bed without bothering to change clothes first. I shouldn't forget my book again tomorrow or my luck will run out. That teacher won't let it slide next time around. I sighed, partly out of physical exhaustion, and partly out of an emotional one. I'm pretty sure I'll start ranting on and on to my poor little cactus again before I even know it. And by now my sister probably thinks I'm a psycho or something.

"But these feelings cannot be understood. So why should I bother talking about it to my sister when she wouldn't understand? I'd rather talk to my plant about it that to a living person," I whispered to myself, blankly staring up the ceiling. No one will understand. I stayed there for about thirty minutes or so before I sluggishly slid down the bed and changed clothes. Seconds after I pulled my shirt down my phone played its notification tune, suggesting a message has been received. I went to my table and picked it up. It was from Reina. Ah, damn. I can feel the heat on my face.

 **Don't forget your book tomorrow.**

Ah, she's reminding me of it. So she really cared, huh? Course she does. I'm the only one who's been acting all shitty anyway. It's not like it's really her fault. I tapped on my phone and sent my message. It was short, but it will suffice.

 **Yeah, thanks for the reminder.**

I closed it shut and fidgeted. This has been our only conversation for the past few days, never knew she would check up on me. As I put it down, the notification sound went off again, and cold crept up my spine as I read her message.

 **Kumiko, I need to talk to you about something. We really have to talk.**

I did not expect this. I wasn't ready for a confrontation. I don't want to hear about anything. I don't want arguments. I don't want any Taki-sensei or presenting my reasons as to why I need to avoid you. Because I can't explain it all. And I'm not sure how you and I will ever be able to take it. The feelings that we have for each other, whether it's love, anger, sadness, apprehension or something else we are not aware of, they are better off unsaid. That's what I thought. But clearly it was not the case for you. And I am scared of it. Another message was relayed.

 **Please, Kumiko.**

My hands shook with anxiety. But she's waiting for me… I typed back with uncertainty, and sent my reply.

 **Okay.**


	5. Stay With Me

I ended up being absent out of sheer fear of confronting Reina. I feel bad and relieved at the same time, although I know I can't evade her forever. I told my sister I suffer from a very bad headache but I know she doubted me very much. Not like she can do anything to stop me from taking my leave anyway.

I spent most of my hours at home worrying and fidgeting, going from one room to the other just to pass some time. My mom's not home today, and my sister went to work. Hazuki and Sapphire must be worried about me by now. I played video games and watched tv shows to ease the anxiety that has been creeping up on me ever since I read her message last night. Now Reina must be _really_ angry, knowing full well that the reason why I'm not around today was because I was avoiding her. I know it doesn't need a genius to figure it out. The sun crept down the horizon slowly, turning the sky into a comforting shade of orange. Then there was a slow, deliberate knock on my door, and the voice that followed sent a chill down to my spine. My mind reeled and my heart raced, unable to process the voice I just heard. I feel fear. I feel ashamed of myself. Reina bothered to check up on me. I'm screwed big time.

I got up slowly, willing myself to walk up to the door and open it, and so slowly did I do it that I was slightly hoping Reina thought I'm not home. But she clearly did not.

"Kumiko," she called with nonchalance.

No choice. Let's open up the door.

So I did.

Reina stood in front of me, still in our school uniform. Her hair is slightly disheveled and although it was a bit chilly outside, a bead of sweat gently trickled down the side of her face. She was also huffing quite a bit, so she must have been in a hurry to come by.

"Is… something wrong?" I asked, and I have no idea whether I should praise myself for doing a good job of making it seem like nothing's up or slap myself for being stupid enough to ask. Judging by the unimpressed look on her face, I guess I should be slapping myself.

"I wanted to talk to you but I guess you're still avoiding me. How are we going to settle things if we keep this up? How am I going to know what's wrong if you won't tell me?" Her voice quivered and rising in anger. Her eyes glistened with tears, and I couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt.

"Come in first. It's a bit chilly today and I don't want you to catch a cold," I offered, because I feel awkward talking and bickering outside of my house where everybody can see. I might as well say it was an excuse to not answer her question and just settle to prolonging the agony. At first it looked as if she will refuse the offer but as I stepped aside by the open door, she took off her shoes and made herself comfortable as can possibly be inside. Although she was standing with her back to me, I noticed her wiping away her tears, making my heart crumple with pain. I guess I won't be making any more excuses. I turned my back to close the door, and was taken aback when Reina silently took a step towards me and hugged me from behind. She rested her head on my back, and her slim fingers wrapped around my waists more tightly. My knees felt wobbly and weak, and I can barely stand up to support my weight.

"Rei-"

"Kumiko." There was silence except for her resonating voice and the response of the beating of my own heart, of which I am afraid she, too, can feel. "Why are you avoiding me? Is it something I've done? Was it something I said?" She whispered, and the softness of her voice almost made it inaudible for me. But I heard it.

I have always been afraid of you asking me these questions. Because it's not something you've done, and it's not something you said. It is not because of you, but my mistake of falling in love with someone I can never be with. But how am I supposed to say that to you?

"No. That's not it." Her grip around my waist loosened, and I turned around to face her. Her face was red with suppressing her tears which perpetually streamed down her face.

"It's my fault. I am accountable for it all. So don't cry." I whispered as I wiped her tears away and tucking away loose strands of hair behind her ears. _Her eyes are all red and puffy from crying,_ I thought. I never knew you'd cry for and because of me. It makes me confused, making me feel hopeful that you may come to love me as I love you. I moved very gently and hugged her, and the comfort of touching and feeling her overwhelmed me for a moment, before I began speaking again.

"I… didn't want to hurt you. It's hard for you to understand, but I thought it was best if I stayed away from you." She squirmed in my grasp after hearing these, and her sobs became a bit more violent and unsuppressed. Her voice sounded muffled and drowned under the fabric I wore, which became damp with her tears.

"You are hurting me right now!" Reina thrashed in my arms but I didn't want to let go. She brought down fists upon fists on my shoulders and chest which lasted almost forever. I cried while I held her in my arms still, because I didn't know that. I thought it's okay to act as I did. It never occurred to me it bothered her so much as to hurt her to this degree. I feel ashamed of how poorly I made my decisions when it comes to my relationship to Reina.

Do I still even deserve her trust and love after all that?

After several minutes, her energy seems to have betrayed her and she was leaning onto my body for support. Her voice sounded hoarse and shaky.

"Don't stay away from me… I need you."

The feelings I kept locked and hidden to the bottom of my heart; the secrets I shared that only a cactus of a plant had knowledge of resurfaced, and I struggled to organize my thoughts and calm myself. Ever since she stepped at my front door, my resolve was already unstable. Hearing those words from Reina was like delivering the final blow to my resolve of forgetting my love for her. The very foundation of it crumbled and everything collapsed with it. I don't know what to do next… Except be by her side.

"I-"

"If it's something you can't share, it's okay. I won't leave you for it. If it takes too long to confide and share things with me, I can wait. I _will_ , Kumiko. Just don't leave me like this. I can't…" Her voice faltering, "I can't stand the thought of being away from you for too long. Even if it's fleeting— even just a little longer, be with me."

 _Because we're friends. Best of friends,_ I thought.

"Because we're best friends," Reina added, still leaning on me.

 _I knew it,_ I thought again, and almost chuckled to myself.

"Yeah, we are. I'm sorry." I lightly pushed her away from my body to get a good look on her. Reina's hair is in the worst condition possible, so tousled she looked as if she just got out of bed. Her eyes are so red and puffy, too.

I laughed. "You look as if you just survived a war." With a startled look, Reina gritted her teeth and started combing her hair with her fingers and looked downwards just so I won't be noticing her puffy eyes any time soon. "Shut up. It's because of you that I'm like this now," She murmured under her breath. I smiled.

 _And it's because of you that I'm like this now, too._

"Don't think I've forgiven you yet! I'm still seething you know!" She pouted and I laughed. She looks like a baby.

"Yes, ma'am. Sorry, ma'am."

I don't care anymore. If I get hurt, so be it. If it's you, Reina, then I'll be fine. Because you're the one that I truly love. It took so long to realize that, and now that the thought sank into this brain of mine, I'll have to make sure my heart will never forget.

 _I really, really, love you, Reina._

* * *

A.N.

Good thing I finished another chapter. I didn't want to slack off so I kind of made sure that I can publish another one this week and it just happened! Yeeey

I really, really wish you liked it. Hope you'll stay tuned for another chapter these upcoming weeks!

Lovelots :D


	6. My Wish

Damn. That sexy breathing though.

So I ended up asking her to stay the night as it started raining heavily even though it's still early in July. The weather is not very predictable nowadays. Besides, I always have this scary vision that if I let her go on her own tonight she'll get shocked by a random lightning and die, as every now and then lightning flashed, closely followed by a booming thunder, making us all uneasy throughout the rest of the night. She likes having a little bit of light before going the sleep, too, which was fine by me. My lamplight's by my side of the bed, and seeing Reina's face dimly illuminated makes me happy. I wonder how she can sleep with the light in her face. I never saw her sleep so soundly before, let alone in my own bedroom. I swore I could watch her all night long, since it's weekend the next day.

We never chatted before going to bed, huh… I thought. Maybe she felt awkward or tired that she immediately went to bed. Her hair fell in front of her face and I tucked it behind her ear. Her chest shallowly rose and fell, and the rhythm of her breathing was so even, that my eyes felt heavy and I slowly fell asleep.

* * *

"Thank you for letting me stay the night," Reina whispered to me.

"No need for thanks, I insisted you stay," I answered, trying to keep a straight face, "I can accompany you home. If you want."

"It's okay. I'll walk home myself," she said. Bummer. "Tell your mom and sister thank you for letting me stay. Too bad they work early, I could have thanked them personally."

 _Ugh. I don't want to remembeeer._

"Don't mind it, it's fine."

And with that she walked homeward. I waited outside and watched her, and until she became a tiny dot I could barely recognize did I trudge back inside the house and made myself comfortable in the living room. Just remembering how Reina was just right beside me in bed, staring at my sleepy face makes me blush and facepalm in embarrassment. Did I fall sleep with my mouth open? I think I did! Could it be she smelled my breath?! Ah shit, I hope not!

Ah, nooo. The embarrassment…

And as I wallowed in despair, my phone vibrated. I reached out and read the message. It was from Sapphire.

 **Tell me your wish for tomorrow! I'll tell you mine too!**

Wish? Oh, they meant the Tanabata Festival? I didn't realize it was tomorrow. My wish's probably gonna be about Reina. Not like I'll be able to tell them.

 **To play the euphonium better, I guess?**

I lied. Lol. I think it's not something to wish for. It's something we do directly to achieve. Like being better at playing the guitar. Even if we wish that and do nothing, I doubt anyone will improve. Or maybe they wish like that because it's better than to wish for something like love, which is reaaally really improbable to achieve. Maybe they think the wish would be wasted knowing you won't get it anyway? Who knows?

The next day, most of the boys were busy setting up the wish trees near the school entrance, while the class representatives ran around distributing workloads. What should I wish for? Class started and during break most of them had already hung their wishes on the bamboos. I didn't.

In the end I just hung a paper (secretly, of course) containing three letters. It proved difficult and I felt like giving up because Sapphire and Hazuki kept following me around. I almost never had a chance to hang it up. I found the opportunity late afternoon and snuck out during club practice since most students should already have gone by then or attending other club activities. I looked around, scrutinizing almost every inch of the place to make sure I was alone. Satisfied, I silently hung the tanzaku.

It's okay for no one to know. To them who will be able to read it, it may be foolish, or brave, perhaps anything in between of those two words. It's just a wish anyway. A hopeful one. 'Cause from the very bottom of my heart I know it's all I wish for.

Her. I wish it could just be me. I wish there's never been a Taki-sensei… although we wouldn't have won a competition without him. But still…

 _Reina, if you insist on hurting yourself, you'll be dancing by yourself all night long in a ball, hoping he'd ask you for a dance. It will be all you will yearn for to happen. But dawn will come and your legs will hurt, your dress will be torn and ugly and your heart will be broken all the more. It's not worth it. It's not worth waiting for someone you know has never looked at you with the love you want to have._

 _I can say the same thing for myself, too. Watching you watch someone else._

I sighed.

Or maybe I should have put something like 'I wish I stop speaking without thinking'? Well, perhaps next year.


	7. Guilty

_I wonder what her wish was…_

I smoothed the freshly changed bedsheet as I ran my arm on it while lying down on my back.

That day of Tanzaki Festival, I secretly followed Kumiko around just like Sapphire and Hazuki, yet I tried my best not to make it obvious as to let her notice. But she quickly vanished during afternoon practice and I was slow to be aware of her absence. I can't skip practice, and because of that I never saw her wish, although it may seem rude to be scheming for something so private, and possibly trivial. Still, it nagged me so badly. Even I am surprised with how I acted. It could have been something simple, like playing euphonium better. But it didn't feel that way to me. If it was even that, she would never try to hide it. It felt important to her, something she can't tell, even to me. It was something she could not confide in anyone, not even to her friends. It was a part of her, and a really special one. I want to get ahold of it in the hopes that it will somewhat fill the emptiness inside me. I want her to let me in. I want to take a peek inside her mind. I want her everything. Because ever since she started avoiding me, the hollow and strange feeling never went away. I feel utterly changed by it. I feel like I'm not as independent as I thought I am. Without Kumiko…

I sighed. "If I'm going to be like this, then please make my wish come true."

I instantly thought of Taki-sensei. I _have_ to talk to him.

I still can't figure what these feelings are, but if I wrote such a thing as a wish…

"My wish, huh…"

* * *

I should have searched for it when I had the chance. But I am not fully capable of searching through tons of wishes to find Reina's. Besides, her handwriting is hard to recognize. Not because it's ugly or anything, but because of my unfamiliarity to it. It's improbable to find it in the short amount of privacy I had, which was just enough for me to hang mine and stride away. Most of my time was taken up by the task of finding the bamboo trees, because they moved it somewhere else that afternoon. Asuka-senpai was quite pissed when I refused to show up, even when Taki sensei was not around. I told her I practiced on my own outside but I could tell by the way she looked and scrutinized me that she didn't buy it. But it was more surprising that Reina didn't become hostile at the fact that I skipped practice, the cute perfectionist of a musician that she is. She only stared at me blankly, deep in thought. Then there was Hazuki, whose expression I can't quite place. There was a mix of fury, pain, and confusion in her eyes as she held my gaze. I dismissed it largely as disappointment of not being able to grab hold of my tanzaku. I swear the only thing left for her to do was to sniff every inch of that paper and bury her eyes on the three letters I wrote. Maybe even taste it and tell me what kind of tree it was made out of.

She didn't talk to me much as we went home that day. She must have been really furious. I wish tomorrow would be different.

The moment Hazuki's eyes and mine met the next morning told me that she still didn't forgive me. There was something more those eyes gave away other than fury. Something like mistrust. But I feared confrontation with her and guess what? I'm the best at running away. No sweat. (But it'll probably bug me for the next few hours.) She didn't try to talk to me all morning. She was normal around others except me. I tried to think it was okay. I'm also good at pretending, thank god.

"Hey, Kumiko," Reina whispered to my ear too closely. I could feel her warm breath across my ear and suppressed a blush.

"Uhh, yeah?" I replied without looking back.

"Mm, nothing." She said, smiling while looking into my eyes, and I could have sworn that my eyes screamed, _'Help! Death by cardiac arrest!'_ I smiled back and wanted to kiss her badly.

"You okay?" She asked, her fingers circling the back of my hand. _**HELP TOO MUCH SKINSHIP!**_ But damn, I love it.

"It's nothing, babe," I said teasingly while playing with her fingers.

"Is it because of Hazuki?"

"I don't know… Maybe?"

"It's gonna be okay," Reina whispered reassuringly. She let her fingers' touch linger before she went back to her seat. I found myself wishing she could have stayed longer. I followed her with my eyes even as she arrived in her seat, and a shadow loomed from my blind side. Before I could look to see who it is, a note skidded on top of my desk, my name written on the outer side. I looked up and Hazuki was walking back to her seat.

* * *

 ** _After school, meet me later at the school gate, let's grab some food and talk._**

* * *

Hazuki's not usually the serious type, but this note sure makes my skin tingle. _Is this some sort of death threat or what?_

I motioned an _okay_ with my hand in her direction, keeping a straight face.

Hours passed painfully slow during the morning, with Mathematics as deathly as ever. Ever since the incident of forgetting my textbook, that teacher made sure to glance at my direction to check me. I'll say she's itching to catch me. Then it was lunch, and Reina was the first to come to me, her lunchbox carefully wrapped in a piece of cloth.

"Wanna eat together?" She asked.

"Can I even say no?" I replied with a grin, and she couldn't help but smile back. We begin to trudge our way to the rooftop. It was one of my favorite places to be in because of the gentle breeze and the sense of being away from everyone else. No one ever likes to go to the rooftop partly because they found it a burden to walk there, when they can just hang out wherever they please. The stairs _are_ a little staggering, but personally it's worth it. A bead of sweat trickled down Reina's face as we climbed the flight of stairs. I took out the handkerchief and wiped the side of her face. She jerked at the unexpected touch and as she reached out to touch my hand holding the hanky, she hesitated and reached out to touch my face. Electricity seemed to have sparked the second her touch met my cheek. Her hand is warm, her touch gentle. Her eyes locked onto mine and I couldn't look away. I drowned in her gaze, consumed by the battle of fierceness and serenity in her eyes. My heart skipped and thumped violently in my chest, but I willed myself to speak.

"Reina…?"

"Kumiko…" Her whisper almost inaudible. She still looked into my eyes. There was something there… something that I hope it is. Reina opened her mouth to speak but she hesitated.

"What is it?" My voice was low like we're hiding from someone who wants catch us. _If you tell me now that you love me, I swear I will tell you how I feel. I swear I will be honest with my feelings, just give me even the slightest bit of affection that I can cling to._

"Will you… Can you accompany me later to Taki-sensei? There's…" She stopped, her gaze falling, "There's something I wanted to tell him."

I could almost hear my heart drop to the pit of my stomach. I feel like the color is draining from my face, the energy leaving my body. _What was I thinking..? Of course, it will be him you're looking for. It was never me. If it's going to be a confession, then I'd rather not be there. It will be like…_

 _Watching my world fall apart._

"I'm sorry I can't come with you today. Hazuki asked me to spend the afternoon with her. She said she wanted to talk about something." It was a good thing I had an excuse, because I don't think I could have said no even when I know it will hurt.

"Oh, that's too bad." There's a distant look in her eyes as she stared ahead, like she's seeing something I could not. _Reina… what are you thinking of right now?_

Lunch didn't feel as fantastic as I imagined it would be, and my appetite just left me. I feel sad how I just hoped she felt something between us. The way she looked at me was mesmerizing, and I thought she felt the same when our eyes locked onto each other. I'm just so miserable and pitiful at this point.

Afternoon classes went by pretty quickly. The orange hue of the setting sun washed over the classrooms, and it had a happy and melancholic feeling to it. I leaned on my own desk and watched Reina gather her things and tidy her place. All the others have either gone home or attended their afternoon practices, so the place was fairly deserted. She took her bag and slung it on her shoulder, and turned to me to wave goodbye. I smiled and waved back. Reina turned and walked away, and I watched her until she turned round the corner.

Someone cleared her throat behind me. I whipped around and saw Hazuki sitting on her chair, gaze locked onto me. She was watching me the whole time. She stood up, pushed her chair under the desk and

"Let's go and take a table at McDonald's where we can talk a little more… privately."

Is she _that_ pissed?

"Look if this is about the wish, I'm so sorry I didn't te—"

"It's not really about it. It's partly that but there's an entirely different matter you're not telling me." She snapped. "If we're really friends, then you should have told me."

"But there's nothing else! It's just a stupid wish, Hazuki!" I threw my hands up in exasperation.

"Then what was that about?! The way you looked at Reina… You think I didn't notice?" She half-shouted through gritted teeth.

 _What..?_

I blinked at her. She was dead serious. The setting sun's dying rays embraced her, and her striking eyes were glinting in the fading sunlight.

"What… are you talking about?" I can feel the quickened heartbeats in my chest, and the cold that crept to my stomach. I was afraid.

"You love her, don't you Kumiko?" She still stared into my eyes, searching for a yes. But I couldn't speak. My legs couldn't quite support me now, and I gripped the side of the table that I may not stumble. My head swam, my vision blurring a bit. I couldn't think straight. The fear consumed me.

I didn't want them to know, not yet. But how did she know? There's so much more than she's letting on.

I opened my mouth but no sound came out.

"If you want to know how I knew and what I personally think, then let's go." Hazuki shouldered her bag and walked to the door. She looked back, and I found myself following her.

I don't understand what's happening, but I was so gripped with fear, that it felt as if I was being kidnapped by my own friend. I can't escape.

I can't deny anymore. I don't have enough choices.

If I was accused of loving her, then I am indeed guilty.

Guilty of the innocent love I felt for her.

* * *

A.N.

Good day! Just wanna say the bold parts sucked! I tried editing it over and over but it didn't go away. :/ Until now. -.-' Hope it didn't bother you too much T-T

Anyway, thank you for your reviews! It encourages me a lot to continue. I thought about discontinuing this but when I read your comments it made me so happy that I continued anyway.

Also, I already made a draft for Citrus! I won't publish it before I finish this nor before I visualized the chapters. It's going to be my first story containing *cough* "mature content." It's my first time writing such a scene -o.o-

Thank you for reading this story!


	8. I Can't

The sky turned gray and blue as the sun went down, promising an incoming rain. I forgot to bring an umbrella, but it didn't matter to me. As the bus passed through luminous streetlights and eerie shops and buildings, the clench in my stomach seems to tighten. I am still fear-stricken, and I couldn't even look at Hazuki in the eye right now. We sat side by side, and I had a weird imagination that she kept her distance as to not brush against me in the slightest.

All while we traveled I couldn't think of words to defend myself. Should I really defend myself in the first place? Is she wrong?

 _Of course not. It's all true._ I thought to myself helplessly. I don't know what she's going to say or do, and not knowing how she reacted to that makes my head ache. I feel the cold creeping inside me still, and it feels like it's strangling me that I was not quite able to breathe normally. I wish half-heartedly it should turn out like that so I can drop dead and not explain for or justify anything at all. I thought of scaling those dark walls to escape, but I can't, and I'm stuck with breaths catching in my throat because of the apprehension the situation is giving me. I inhaled sharply and tried to breathe normally. I looked out the window seeing my pale, blurry reflection on it. This face is the face of a girl who only wanted to love Reina with all of her heart, in the hope that the tiniest sliver of affection shall be returned. But it is not only the hope of being loved back that drove me into falling in love with her, but the fact that I had no choice but to follow my heart. I gazed into my own eyes, the background blurry and swirling as the bus drove on.

 _I've gone so far as to admit to myself these feelings, and it would all be for nothing if I deny it in the end. After all, this is not just some friendly love or puppy love. I know it's the real thing. I'd go through anything for Reina. I really, really love her. Why should I be denying something I should be so proud of having?_

I could feel Hazuki staring at me silently from her seat, and I could almost feel her gaze pricking on my skin. She put her hand against mine and I jolted from the unexpected contact. She placed her hand more firmly and squeezed it.

"Hey," Hazuki started to say, her eyes soft and caring, "Don't worry too much. There's nothing to be afraid of. It's just me. Back then, I'm sorry for… being too blunt." Tubacabra sat on her lap, safely tucked in her new case made of gleaming black fabric. I nodded at her, averting my eyes. She took her hand away and the bus began to slow down, then ultimately came to a stop. She shouldered her tuba and took off, and I followed suit. We walked until we arrived at the vibrant McDonald's we agreed upon. By then, it was completely dark as the night replaced the setting sun, and cold gusts of wind roared. We warmed ourselves inside the establishment, though it was relatively cold inside either. We picked the seat in the farther corner which was quite deserted. Hazuki dropped her tuba with a heave on the soft, puffy long sofa, while I sat across her.

"I'm going to order a meal. I'm famished," she groaned. Hearing her speak to me like there's no serious matter at hand almost made me feel relieved. But there's no denying how much the anxiety had spread both physically and mentally. It felt so much colder than it really is, and my fumbling hands shook visibly underneath the table. "What do you want to eat? My treat."

I blinked, almost unable to catch it. "Uhm, maybe just a drink. I'm not really feeling hungry right now." It was true. I wasn't really hungry. It would only make me more conscious of myself, anyway. She looked at me, contemplating about what I said. After a few seconds she opened her mouth and replied, "Okay. I'll be right back."

She gestured to her instrument, and I assured her that I will watch over it. She walked to the counter and I watched as she gave her order to the cashier. As I looked out toward the streets, rain started pouring down. _It will only be a matter of time until it rains harder._ Different other thoughts swirled in my mind, and I desperately racked my brain on how I should address the more serious matter. Nothing came up, except the feeling of nervousness.

 _Damn, I can't think straight!_ I let out a heavy, defeated sigh. Hazuki appeared with a tray in both hands, and squeezed herself in to sit on the long sofa. She took a Diet Coke and fries and placed them in front of me. "I don't want you watching me while I eat or I'll get conscious so I bought you some."

I accepted it gratefully, and took a sip from my soft drink. Hazuki ate ravenously, to the point that you could say it's manly; putting as much rice and chicken strips her mouth could contain and watering it down with Pepsi. She went on like that for a few minutes, dead focused on her food like there's no tomorrow. I took a fry now and then with a slow pacing and sipped very little, my appetite still seemingly not engaged to eat. Then I felt a cold, pricking sensation when she stopped and looked at me, beginning so suddenly it took a moment for me to realize she was voicing out her feelings.

"I'm just pissed. I'm pissed because we're friends and you haven't told a soul that you're hurting," was what she said. "You always keep it to yourself. I get it that you don't like sharing these kinds of things. But sometimes it just makes me feel like you don't trust us." She looked out to her left, staring out at the darkness that consumed the streets. The streetlights made her eyes gleam, but there was melancholy evident in them.

"It's not that I don't trust you guys," I whispered in a low voice, "It's just… maybe you don't like me that way. I'm afraid that you see me—"

The breath caught in my throat. My hands flew on the table, fumbling as I struggled to get the words out. "Disgusting or sickeni—"

I jerked in my seat as Hazuki slammed her hand on the table. It was loud, but the other customers were busy enough or too far away to notice. Tears suddenly welled up in my eyes and I choked back a silent sob.

"Hey," She said softly, "Don't ever say that. Don't you ever, Kumiko Oumae. You are not disgusting. You are not the negative things you assume yourself to be." She mumbled an apology for startling me. The next thing I knew is that she's beside me, hugging me tight. I love the warm touch, and the reassurance made me break into sobs. Hazuki took my chin and turned my face so that we faced each other at eye-level. She was blurry through the tears, and she wiped the salty rivulets with her thumb and smiled.

"I don't want to be a friend who judges you, especially for who you are. You've done nothing wrong, and I want you to know that. But it doesn't change the fact that you are Kumiko Oumae, my friend who has the habit of saying things out loud. You are okay to me. If anything, I get to know you better. And I am happy to have done that."

The next half an hour we spent talking about me in a light manner, which I assume was to prevent me from crying anymore. Hazuki talked to me in a soft voice, and I knew she meant well. I was more than relieved to know that there is not a hint of resentment in the way she talked nor looked at me, but I knew she struggled to understand this kind of love. I understood that, and it was more than the kind of acceptance that I wished for. She told me how she knew— she followed me and made sure never to be seen when I snuck out to hang my tanzaku. I was surprised by the confession and she apologized to me repeatedly, but it mattered little now. I wasn't angry at all, it may as well have been my fault. She knew it was Reina I was referring to, and she knew I am hurting knowing that Reina knows nothing of my feelings all while she desperately tries to catch Taki-sensei's attention. It does hurt to act like it was nothing to me, even though I know that in one way or another I was involved.

"You should confess," she said suggestively. I shunned the idea. I can't do that yet. Verbally confessing my feelings would be beyond my current capabilities. But she told me there was no other way, and that there was still Sapphire who needs to know about this.

"I'm not saying you should tell this to everybody, but I think it would be good if Sapphire isn't left out on this," She said in a matter-of-fact kind of tone. I'm not sure about Sapphire's reaction, but she's usually mild-mannered and not as impulsive like this girl next to me, which makes me gain a little more confidence on confiding.

The windless rain poured viciously on the illuminated streets, with occasional flashes of lightning and booming of thunder. We struggled to share Hazuki's umbrella, and I was refrained from occupying too much space so her tuba can squeeze in. I let my shoulder leave the dry space, and the fabric quickly soaked the perpetually falling rain. I walked silently, bringing to mind what Hazuki mentioned. It rang in my ears for what seemed like eternity when we reached the station.

"That's the problem with you. You suffer on your own and saying nothing like its fine. Look at you, all drenched in the rain." Hazuki snapped impatiently as I wiped myself with a hanky. The rumbling of train rails vibrated through the tiled floor, and the train was visible a second after, screeching to a slow stop.

"Unless you want a rusting Tubacabra, I can't do that. Besides, it's your umbrella. I'm grateful enough that I get to share it." She looked at me searchingly for a second and gave up _._ We boarded the train and sat on the seats at the edge of an empty row. _I'll get soaked on the way home, anyway,_ was what I thought as the train lurched forward and traversed the dark tunnel. Before long it was Hazuki's stop, and she worried over me to which I assured her that I was going to be okay. I waved at her as the train lurched forward again, and I watched her as she walked away until she vanished beyond the white-washed walls. Eerie silence washed over me and the few other passengers onboard. I welcomed it, and once again my mind sank into a pessimistic sea of thoughts.

 _What would Reina think of me when I confess? That I had ulterior motives? She would not accept it._ Knowing how well she speaks her mind whether or not someone can get hurt scared me. I could almost perceive her face contorted into a grimace, fury blazing in her eyes. I could feel her disgust, and it stabbed me with pain. Her almost audible voice rang in my ears, her words harsh and filled with revulsion. The cold spread to my heart, and I can feel it numb from the pain. Bu there was something scarier than that. It was not the thought of her spitting harsh words at me that I feared the most. I am petrified to think that we will never be the same. Knowing she will avoid me filled me with anguish. It was the most excruciating to think about more than anything else. If confessing meant not being able to enjoy her company… not being by her side… not being able to laugh or cry together… not being able to freely love her, then…

I can't do it.


	9. In Bath and In Bed (Part 1)

The rain poured so heavily onto my umbrella, that my arm muscles strained slightly to keep it upright in opposition to the fleetingly cascading droplets. I made sure to tuck my trumpet safe under the refuge so that no damage, no matter how insignificant, may be inflicted. As I walked and looked ahead, the streets were blurry through the torrent of water falling from above, the lights dimming. Ears are filled with the sound of the constant splashes, and the seemingly distant honks and engine noise of cars. It was a magnificent experience; the peace penetrated my soul and the noise sounded like music in my ears. But then a dark figure of a girl ahead caught my attention.

The poor lighting in the dark gave enough light to know that she was soaked to the bone, with no umbrella in hand. By the old streetlamp she stood, her brown hair clinging to her scalp, just how her uniform clung to her shivering, pale skin. I knew instantly who she was, and I found myself running, careful not to slip or trip. Every step created a splashing of water onto the pavement, and it felt like I was too slow to reach her even when I ran. She looked sad. Beyond sad; even when she had her back to me. I watched how her shoulders stooped, and how limp her body was as she stood. I felt a pang of pain in my chest that I did not quite understand. I _need_ to offer her my warmth, to the point that it might as well be an obsessive wish. I was just a few feet away, when a shadow sprinted faster than I can and grabbed Kumiko in an embrace, with an umbrella in one hand. I stopped on my tracks, the pumping of my heart pounding in my ears. Kumiko was silent, her body still limp, and her eyes almost lifeless _. She's deeply troubled by something_ , I thought. They stayed like that for a minute, and I stood there watching, every second a struggle to keep myself upright. The man with broad shoulders finally loosened his grip and I knew it was Shuuichi, and I felt… cheated.

I was supposed to be the person standing next to Kumiko. I was supposed to be the one offering her warmth. I want to be the only one to be able to understand her, even if it is most selfish. I struggled to get there as soon as I can, and it pissed me how he just sprinted like that and took my place. I know I wasn't always there for her, and I want to make up for it. But Shuuichi…

There was more than just irritation that I felt, there was a tinge of jealousy which made cold creep up on my heart. _They look good together. They've been friends for a long time that I wouldn't be surprised if Kumiko liked him. If that happens… No, even before that happens, may my wish come true. I_ will _make it come true._ The determination I felt scared me, because the feelings that kept stirring within me is still not as sorted out as I want them to be.

Shuuichi's gestures were very obvious and persistent, and I knew that he wants to accompany her home. Kumiko said very little and that was the time that I stepped up, deliberately pushed Shuuichi's umbrella away with my own so that Kumiko rests under my refuge and not his. I put my hand around Kumiko's side, and I didn't bother the damp uniform sticking to my skin.

"I will take Kumiko home. You can go." I snapped at him, almost too sharply but I didn't really care. I don't even intend to let him tail us. I turned to Kumiko to see if she disapproves, but all I saw was the way her eyes shone, like the fading embers has been rekindled into a raging fire in those melancholic eyes. She was happy to see me, I knew, but there was something else I cannot place. I gently took her hand and started walking toward her house, intertwining my fingers with her cold ones and trudging ahead.

"I'll check up on you tomorrow!" Shuuichi half-shouted. I didn't look back, I only wedged my umbrella between my cheek and shoulder and searched my pocket for a handkerchief.. As soon as I took it out I handed it to Kumiko, careful not to tilt the umbrella towards myself. I let go of her hand to hold it upright, and started wiping her face gently. She looked into my eyes and I held them with love, getting myself lost in the dilated, amber pupils. _They say a person's pupils dilate when they like something… or someone. I wonder if… if mine is dilating too._ If she hates Shuuchi that much that she's so elated to see me every time he shows up, then maybe I should be thankful he's around.

"Kumiko, don't ever do that again," I scolded her. "If you get sick I'll get really mad."

"Sorry. I forgot to bring my umbrella. My bag's waterproof so I just went for it." It's what Shuuichi could have said as well, but I have a strong desire to be the first person to convey it to her. I am more than willing to go all-out against Shuuichi if it's Kumiko. She placed her freezing hand upon mine, the cold spreading across from her fingertips. I slowly took my hand away, and her eyes gave a silent appreciative look as she wiped. It wasn't much since it looked as if she just swam in a pool.

"Then call me the next time you forget. I'll come get you, no matter how late or how far you are. I mean it."

"You don't have to do that," She smiled. Her reticent character is the indestructible wall no one has yet to penetrate. Not even me. And I want to be the first to do that. I want you… I want you to confide in me more. That kind of smile, and every kind of genuine smile that you have— I want to protect them.

"I want to. Especially since it's you." I pushed her hair back from her face, my ears deafened by the pounding in my chest. I still looked at her, captivated. _What are you to me, Kumiko?_ I jerked from my little trance when she turned away and sneezed. She shivered as the wind blasted frigid air. It's too cold outside for her, and she's already soaked. I urged her to walk again until we arrived outside her front door. No lights were turned on, and no sound came from inside. Kumiko said her mom was on the night shift, and that her sister was away for the week. She had clogged nose and coughed quiet often. She opened the gates and closed it behind us, and took off our shoes before coming in. I left the umbrella by the door reluctantly. It might get caught in the wind and take off or something, especially since the brewing storm just got stronger.

I turned on the lights in the living room. There were a messy stack of shoujo manga on the side table that they had there. Everywhere else I looked appeared neat and polished. Kumiko sneezed beside me, and she wiped her nose with the back of her hand.

"Ugh, this is getting annoying," she murmured.

"You should—" I stopped and swallowed hard. Her pale skin can be seen through the wet fabric of her uniform especially through the aid of the light. Her uniform clung to her white brassiere, and her slim waist was exposed too greatly for comfort… she was definitely, by my standards, sexy and hot… or maybe cold. She shivered slightly as she placed her dripping cased euphonium by the side of the room. "Uhh, take a bath."

"Will you stay and wait for me?" She asked as she walked back to me and took my hand, leading me to one of the couches. "Yeah, definitely."

She smiled and walked upstairs, still soaked to the bone, leaving a faint trail of dripping rainwater all over the stairs and coming back down to the bathroom. Meanwhile, I slumped as comfortably as I can abuse during my stay and let the couch eat me in its fluff and upholstery. I extended my arm toward the side table and grabbed one of the manga my hand was in reaching distance with. It was a manga I had read before and lost interest early with, so I put it back. The pitter-patter of shower went on for a few minutes before the cascade of water abruptly stopped, replaced by the rolling sound of a sliding door opening.

"Uhm, Reina?"

"Yeah?" I answered back and got up on the couch.

"Could you… come here for a minute?" I sauntered toward the bathroom and was greeted with a Kumiko peeking through the small crack. "I know this is embarrassing for me to ask, but I spaced out a little and forgot my towel and clothes. I didn't want you to see me walking around… in my… so, if it's okay…"

"Want me to get it for you?"

"Uhm, yeah. The towel's on the clothes rack by the stairs."

"Okay." I walked over to the clothes rack and sure enough there was a faded orange towel draped over the lower bar. I took it to Kumiko first before getting her clothes, and she thanked me as she extended her arm through the opening.

"By the way, were you able to bring your… underwear?" Kumiko only blushed at my question, embarrassed, but then nodded. I was half-disappointed for no particular reason, and I trudged upstairs and toward her room. As I entered, I noticed how the cactus that has always been sitting on her desk look plump and greener than usual. I then paced over one of the drawers and started opening them one by one. The top drawer was for her undies. I was at awe at how her rainbow of undies were cute and sexy, but then closed it again, because it was inappropriate. I was tempted to take one though.

I resumed the hunt for her clothes by opening the middle drawer and the bottom drawer, but they had nothing in them. I suspected that these were her drawers for her clothes, but they were empty. I walked over the closet, but it only had her uniforms, socks and outdoor clothing. I went over to her bed and checked whether there was something in between the sheets but no such luck. Maybe Kumiko was getting curious on what's taking me so long she checked on me anyway.

"Your drawers are empty." I said as I checked again, being careful not to open the top drawer and reveal her marvelous collection. She walked and looked over, and I looked up at her— she was draped in the towel I handed her, and was getting embarrassed as I stared because she said she didn't want me to see her walking around naked.

"But you're in a towel?" I reasoned as we checked literally every inch of her room. "Yeah, but I still classify it naked." Her bra strap was loose, but I didn't touch her because I know she'd be more embarrassed if I did. I kept looking and saying nothing, and she didn't seem to notice. We went out of her room and check the kitchen where fresh laundered clothes sat in a blue basket.

"Maybe it's here," she murmured impatiently, agitated to be clothed and end her misery. She was dry by the time we entered the kitchen, except for her hair which dripped on her back. I was bothered by her bra strap that kept hanging on the side, because I was waiting for her to notice but she was probably to focused on finding her clothes to notice or care. She bent over and turned over the fresh laundry, and in the effort and haste she exhibited, her towel gradually loosened. I still kept looking, unsure of what I should be doing except enjoying what I was seeing. I sighed and walked over to her, grabbing hold of the towel to tighten it. The knot she made was above her chest, so I had to hold it there otherwise I would only loosen it more. My mind reeled as her breast pressed against my arm when she leaned over unknowingly, and Kumiko yelped under me as I hovered over her bent body. _S-soft._

"H-hey gorgeous, your towel's slipping. Hold it for me for a second," I said, and nervously tightened her bra strap so it stayed on her shoulder. Her back was barer now, with her towel covering only slightly above her waist so her bra showed. "Seems like I've made the wrong decision. Now I'm tempted to take your towel off just to see you in your underwear," I blurted out, my heart quickening in my chest. She laughed it off.

"Well, if it's you."

* * *

A.N

First of all, I sincerely apologize for taking so long to update. I promised that I would finish this, but school started to get in the way. But since I still had some of my vacation left to spend, I wanted to post this chapter as proof that I'm still alive and breathing to actually finish this HAHAHA

The next chapters may take longer to publish since I had to wait it out until the next vacation, but I'm already making the outline of the chapters to make it easier to write. I apologize again.

At one point I lost heart to finish this. I wondered if I was doing good enough, but I was encouraged again. So thank you to all of you who posted the review, especially **toki1** who posted the last review. That was what I needed to revive my spirit. And a more special thanks to **Dasu-ku n**, who encouraged me a lot to keep going. But most especially to all of you, who took the time to read this chapter, and the whole story at one point. I would love to hear from all of you. :D

I'll be posting part 2 in a couple of days, so stay tuned. _**I love you all**_ ❤


	10. In Bath and In Bed (Part 2)

"You should take a bath now. I don't want you to catch a cold," I said as I trudged down the stairs and find her sitting on the long couch. "I brought a change of clothes for you."

Reina blushed and laughed heartily. "You don't mean that we get to share your majestic collection of laced brassiere and panties now, do you?"

"Y-You went through that drawer?!" Ugh, this is embarrassing!

"Yeah, I did. And then you got this cute little panties with a bear pr—" By this time I made sure to cover her mouth to muffle the rest of her embarrassing adventure through my drawer. "These are new ones. So don't get all worked up." I handed her a towel and she kept on laughing as she walked toward the bathroom.

"'Sorry for being the first to take a bath. I should have asked you to go first," I whimpered at Reina. She shook her head at me. "It's okay. I would have insisted otherwise."

I went to the kitchen and prepared dinner for the both of us. I decided that meat and potato stew would be nice during the cold, and continued to chop off the ingredients while I let the newly washed rice to cook. I spaced out every now and then when I remember vividly the feeling of how my breasts pressed against her arm, which was really awkward, to be frank. It makes me wonder what Reina felt about it. Was she indifferent? Did she also feel awkward? All I know is that apart from the embarrassment that I felt, my heart raced in my chest, which I sincerely hoped she was unable to feel.

I was halfway done with cooking, and the rice too was ready to be served when I heard her footsteps echo through the hallway. I looked up from my small soup pot; a towel was swirled on top of her head, and she was in the blue pajamas which I gave her. I wore an orange one with the same design.

"I hope you don't mind me taking some of your tea," Reina spoke as she reached into a packet of tea bags and took out two. I turned off the stove and transferred the contents of the pot in two plates and heated a grilling pan for bacons ('cause who said bacons are for breakfast only?) She walked over to me and offered a cup, and I smiled gratefully. She sipped silently, and I too stayed silent as I enjoyed the little tea time we are having. I was glad that she didn't ask me anything about tonight, at least not yet. I didn't want to ruin the little moment that I get to spend with her alone, for not even I know for how long I get to be with her. It's a moment I want to cherish, for it is a moment that no cowardice of mine is needed to be exhibited, and no courage is to be mustered.

We had fun cooking bacons together, and we talked over small things during dinner and made sure to wipe the halls and stairs dry. We sat down by the TV and watched as she wiped her instrument of the water that managed to get in. My case was waterproof, so it was okay, but hers was of a high-quality cotton fabric of some sort, and she got her instrument wet when she shared her umbrella with me. I dried her instrument casing indoors by the fan, and I watched her as she tended to her trumpet.

Seeing Reina protective of me back then— despite me having a high probability of misunderstanding the situation— makes me more than just happy. I felt… relieved. Perhaps things won't change for the next few years, and we would still be two people walking together, side by side. Maybe confessing is too soon. Perhaps it is too late. But I know that now is not the time. Maybe there will never be a time.

It was around nine o'clock when we started to prepare for bed, and knowing she likes to keep the lamp on, I let the light illuminate the room albeit a little too bright. Maybe it was foolish of me to think that Reina will never ask me, because as I turned away from her she spoke up.

"Kumiko, did something happen today?"

"What? Nothing happened." I didn't turn around as I spoke, as my facial expression might give it away. Still, it is not a secret that Reina is more than perceptive. "You looked downcast today."

"Must be the weather."

"The weather is a pretty shallow reason."

"I just forgot my umbrella. I felt cold and everything, and that's it." I didn't dodge her attempts very well, so I told her that we should get enough sleep to last a whole day at school. I reached over to the bedside table to dim the lamplight and the bed creaked as she moved closer to me. She hugged me from behind, her hand slightly quivering. Admittedly, I was surprised. She can be very assertive and overly aggressive when push comes to shove. But once again seeing this soft side of her for me, makes me question my worthiness to stay by her side.

"Kumiko…"

I didn't respond, rather, I waited for the next words that will fill my ears and my mind with anxiety. The long silence was painful, but it was nothing compared to what she whispered next.

"Do you trust me? I feel like you don't."

"Don't say such things. You know I do."

"Then," Reina's grip on my clothes tightened, "why can't you tell me the reason. The _real_ reason."

I stared at the mellow sparkle of the dim lamplight, knowing full well that the conversation is going downhill. _It will only be a matter of time until we wage war against each other… and I'm making the situation even worse._ "I… I can't. I just can't."

Her body shivered as it pressed against me, and took me a while to realize that she was weeping. I still kept silent, I didn't know what to do and what to say.

"…It's always like this," she sobbed, "You not trusting me is the reason why we are falling apart."

"I'm doing my best to tell you everything that you need to know."

"It's not what I _need_ that I want you to tell me, but what I _want_." Outside, even the sky wept with her; the rain personifying the misery that engulfed this girl beside me, and me as well. The room seemed darker and dismal, and I couldn't make things right with her without exposing my true feelings. It feels like being torn apart with the wanting to keep it all to myself and hurt her in the process, and being true to her and risking everything. But everything is risky now, and I hated it. And what I hated the most, was I couldn't think of anything except to stay silent like a fool that I am.

"If you're doing the best that you can, you need to understand that it won't suffice. You cannot expect to close the gap that suddenly existed between us. This void… this void that destroyed us," Reina said in a low, cracking voice. "Even if our bodies are this close… what's with the distance that suddenly existed between us..?"

"I— I'm figuring everything out. I'm sorry for asking for your patience."

"Figuring it out..?" Reina clasped her hand so fiercely, that her fingernails dug into my flesh. I tried not to wince, for this physical pain cannot hope to equal the pain of the burden she suffered because of me. Her voice became lower still, but the gravity of her words kept rising. "That is the problem! You figure things out, alone! I told you that I would wait for you until you are ready to confide, and I did!" Her sobs became sharper, more pained, and more melancholic that I could never hope to quench it. "If you won't tell me, what's the point of waiting?"

 _Does that mean, you're giving up on me? Because of me being a coward, we are starting to fall apart... What is this anguish I feel..? What is this pain in my chest...? Why do I have to feel this..? Why does Reina have to be hurt as well..?_

"I'm sorry for hurting you. I know, it's stupid. I'm not asking for your forgiveness. I cannot hope to accept it anyway. But all I ask of you is to trust me." What am I saying? Why am I being selfish?

"Will you leave me? Have you been thinking about leaving me again?" _I have. And I could have answered the opposite of the truth if only this guilt didn't constrict my throat into silence. Which will hurt more? Is it the truth that I must speak, or the lie that I have readily fabricated?_

And I knew that during such a crucial time, the silence that enveloped the space in which we reside was a mistake. Middle grounds should never exist. Decisions are black and white; evil and good; light and dark. Making decisions is flipping a coin— it's either a head or a tail and no in-between. Existing in the neutral state of things would only lead to anguish, much like this one. That's why choosing silence only fueled Reina's rage even greater, and so did her despair.

The bed creaked as she struggled to clamber on top of me, who still faced away from her. She jerked me to her direction; that helped me understand that Reina's eyes are red from suppressing tears that slid down her nose and cheeks; that her throat struggles to form the words I need to hear; and that her hands that shook with anger continued to grasp hard on my clothes. "Look at me in the eye and answer me!"

I looked on regretfully, as I watched her sob a bit more whilst her frail body sat on top of me. I wanted her to calm down before I answer, but that would mean standing on neutral grounds once again. But before I could, she covered her face with her hands and cried, "Why do you doubt everything? Why not say that you won't and put my heart at ease?

"Why… why do you stir me like no one else does?"

"It's a difficult question for me." I said as I sat on the bed, supporting her that she may not topple over by putting my right hand against her back. She now sat on my thighs, and with my free hand I brushed the hair from her face which was still covered by her slim fingers as I continued on to my defense. "There are things I cannot figure out. I had a feeling it won't change even if I told anyone, and I didn't want such trivial things to worry someone special to me— that's you. I'm sorry too, for the fact that I am doubtful at an imaginable extent, to anything and everything. I shouldn't doubt you, but at the same time I trust you deeply, more than I have trusted anyone else.

"Maybe doubting is my way of telling you that I want to confirm your feelings for me… my importance to you. There are times I felt worthless and unloved, and I want to feel your warmth during those times. It's difficult to make you understand, I myself get confused of the things that I say and do, but I can't just blindly confirm a promise that might have a loose footing without reflecting on my true feelings."

Reina still kept her face covered, her hands dampened by rivulets of tears, taking sharp intakes of air mid-sentence, her sobbing quite uncontrollable. "But you promised. You promised you will never leave. You promised that you will always stay by my side."

"I know. But one day, we both know we had to physically part. And even if I did leave, it doesn't change the fact that I love you. That's why I faltered," I whispered. I took her hands away and held them, "Look at me, Reina. Yes, you may doubt the trust I impart to you—my decisions, and I do too. But if there is something that will never change, something that will put your mind and heart at ease, it's the fact that I love you. It will never change, and you can take my word for it. We may be falling apart now, but my love for you isn't. If we physically part, my heart will ache because it loves you, more than you will ever know."

She looked at me while I said these words and I held her gaze with all my might. _You are so beautiful, how can I ever resist and deny my love for you?_

"You use fancy words, but it doesn't change the fact that parting will hurt." She muttered, her fingers intertwining with my own. I accepted the advance heartily. If there's one thing, Reina is easy to start a fire, and quick to douse the flames. I find it both strange and wondrous, how she's so easy to please sometimes despite getting all worked up a few moments ago.

"There is no reason to part," _At least… not yet._ "I love you."

"Kumiko," She whispered, her eyes glinting by the dim lamplight. "Yeah?" I answered back, loosening our intertwined fingers to wipe away her tears. As my other hand held hers and the other to wipe her tears, she closed her eyes as my thumb caressed her cheek. The electricity shot up my spine as Reina placed her hand on mine once again, kissing my palm with her soft lips. She bit it and kissed it again, as if she's torn as to whether she will wage war or call truce. I could feel my breath getting shallow and sharp, unable to contain my fervor. This… "What are you to me, Kumiko..? What am I to you..?" She then opened her eyes and looked pleadingly at me. I didn't say anything.

I desire to kiss her. I found my hands travel around her waist as I leaned over, and her arms locking around my neck. My quickened heartbeats filled my ears, along with the seemingly ragged breath that shook with suppression of lust. Reina's flushed cheeks are evident on her pale skin.

"Kumiko…"

"Reina, I—" _I love you. I really, really—_

"Kumiko? Are you home?" Both of us jerked at the unexpected voice, pulling away from each other. "I— I think my legs can't breathe." I said, embarrassed. She nodded vigorously and got off fidgeting.

"I'll just… go and talk to Mom for a second. You should sleep," I blurted out. She just nodded again and gathered the blanket while I got out of the room still flushed from the experience. She was pretty early today. She said she was called to work a little early so she was able to get off work at around 9 o'clock, and I told her that Reina was staying the night. She only asked whether we've eaten and I nodded. She said she's tired so both retreated back to our rooms, and I found Reina with her back to me. I couldn't tell whether she's awake or asleep, but I don't think I could speak to her after everything that transpired.

I can't believe we almost kissed. I couldn't get drowsy for an hour thinking about it but eventually tired myself out and fell asleep.


	11. Farewell, Ssamba : A Tribute

To my dearest readers.

I would like you all to feel my pain of loss as well as my eternal gratitude for Ssamba, one of the greatest if perhaps not the greatest of all writers and illustrators alike.

Her story has moved me. Her characters the epitome of a unique story focusing on a pure love between individuals. Every emotion— every feeling that both of them felt were so real for me. The development of their feelings for each other is beyond realistic.

And knowing that this story that I loved from the bottom of my heart is discontinued forever is truly agonizing. I read her story over and over, scrolled and searched the Internet for any trace of more chapters, in hopes that perhaps she had left something for all of us. Fluttering Feelings is more than just a story. It is irreplaceable and incomparable. I won't ever forget the opportunity to read this masterpiece which I was able to grab.

I wish that Ssamba has found her happiness wherever she is now.

Rest in peace. May your magnificence last for eternity.

Thank you.


	12. Feverish Encounters

**Kumiko's POV**

The first thing that came to my mind when I woke up was whether my breath smelled like rotten bacons. And also if I looked like a zombie fresh from the grave.

Thankfully, I had my back turned away from Reina, so I had time to make myself a little more presentable; though I had this nagging suspicion that my hair became extremely matted from sleeping. I stayed like that for a minute, staring into the bedroom wall, before the events from the night before hit me: Shuuichi hugging me in the rain, Reina coming over to my house, and the kiss that we could have shared together. I felt my heart race just by thinking about it. It made me confused more than ever, not knowing what this means and what we are to each other. Sure, I love her more than she could have thought, but could it be that she felt the same way towards me? It was inconceivable, but last night's uncontained fervor was definitely real. It was not just my imagination... those were the sparks of hope that she left for me.

When the sunrays that slipped through the blinds became unbearable I sat up from the bed and turned towards Reina. I thought she would still be sleeping since it was still very early, but I found her sitting with her back to me, legs crossed underneath the tatami, examining something. As I peered over her shoulder, I took note that it was the photo of her playing the trumpet that I kept. "Good morning," I greeted as I walked past toward the bathroom, and she greeted back. Refreshed and tidied up after fixing myself in the bathroom, I started to go upstairs again when Mom said breakfast was nearly ready,with the smell of her cooking wafting all over the place. I trudged back, finding Reina still looking at the photo. I sat next to her, not minding the cramped space.

"Were you trying to rob me?" I asked suspiciously. "That's the photo I always kept in my wallet."

"I found your wallet lying wide open. You're practically asking _me_ to _rob_ you. Anyway, when was this?"

I took the photo from her. It wasn't a hard question, because it's not like I'll ever forget when that happened. I said, "the time Hazuki and Sapphire was trying to take my camera, forcibly so, then you let me inside the room just so you could lecture me." She got off from under the table as I spoke, and I just kept staring at the picture after I tore it from her hands. _She's serious most of the time, just like in this one. But she's dazzling even with that determined, half-I'll-kill-you-if-you-don't-practice face on._

"Kumiko." Her voice was flat, which slightly suggested that she was going to say something that's... not really very nice. So I snorted, "Oh please, not another lecture?" as I faced her, but contrary to what I expected, it wasn't her face that greeted me but a camera. Before my brain could process anything, the flash went off with a _click!_ What's horrifying was she picked the burst mode, and I instantly knew I'd be ghastly in those photos, speaking like a moron with my eyelids half-closed.

"Since you secretly had a picture of me, I think I also earned the right to keep one of these," she pointed out. My mid-sentence face was so-so, in exception for a few, unspeakably ugly ones, but letting Reina have it would undeniably be a nightmare. "I looked horrid in that!" She took out the memory card and told me there was nothing I could do about it. I sulked, but it didn't have any effect on her so I gave up.

Mom invited us to join her for breakfast, and we quickly went downstairs. She had already prepared three seperate plates for all of us, and we sat down together on a meal of eggs, sausages, and soup. "So," Mom started,"Reina, honey, I was wondering whether Kumiko took good care of you last night." I almost choked on the bowl of rice I ravished, the sausage jumping in my throat. "M-Mom, what are you on about?"

I looked at Reina, whose eyes refused to meet mine. I felt my stomach lurch a little. _Silly me, of course it has been a terrible night. To think that we almost kissed, it was probably not the brightest idea._ But she kept picking at the rice grains with a slight smile on her face, a tad bit nervous one, if you ask me. Maybe it was my imagination. "She... she'd make a good wife, if not a great one, considering she managed not to burn dinner," she hesitated, then laughed. "And a seductive one, too, for apparently she loves walking half-naked." I choked again. "Reina! You could have left that information out!" Apparently, Mom wasn't very happy that I roam the house in such an 'undignified' manner. _Wife, huh? If I'd be your wife... ah, silly shit._

The three of us had small talks as we ate to our hearts' content, when my mom decided to talk about college. She asked Reina what she was planning to take, considering it's nigh time that we settle for a course. By the time she paused, I knew she was about to turn her attention to me.

"Kumiko here is still undecided. I've been suggesting everything, but she hasn't taken an interest in any of it. And Kumiko," both of them glanced at me, "I still think what you want is out of the question." And she just had to mention that in front of Reina. "I can pull it off, just you watch," I answered in a low voice. Reina stared at me but did not ask which I appreciated very much. Maybe I'd be inclined to tell her another day but now, especially in front of my disapproving mom. Just then my mom turned to her, expecting an answer. She started picking at her food again. "Uhm, I was actually planning on pursuing music. I had this good conservatory in mind, and I'm already preparing for the initial audition." My mother seemed delighted to hear that, mainly because she has heard from me how much she loves and excels naturally in music. I wasn't the same, unfortunately, that was why even if my mom insisted that I enter a conservatory of music, I don't think my skills would be sufficient to pull it off. Even my determination was lacking. Reina, on the other hand, had everything- she had the talent, unwavering determination, passion. I could not hope to equal her. For the rest of the meal, Reina ate quietly.

After breakfast I changed into my school uniform. Reina refused to change into my spare uniform, rather insisted that she go home and change quickly. "I'll return your clothes tomorrow," she announced quietly. She had a distant look in her eyes, but I didn't probe her into spilling the beans. It could be nothing. We walked together talking about the upcoming examinations. The weather had become sullen once again, and it wasn't before long when the rain suddenly poured. I took out my umbrella, with the thought of the two of us sharing it in mind. But with the bags and instruments, it could prove difficult. Apparently, Reina did not share the same thought. She took out her umbrella, but she shuddered at the cold gusts of wind. I was tempted to hold her. "Y-you should huddle closer to me," I said boldly. She moved a little closer, but stopped as our umbrellas bumped into each other. I felt my throat run dry, my body tingling at the thought of her. We trudged on the brick pavement, small pools of rainwater collecting on shallow depressions of broken and missing bricks. It was almost time to part, and I hated it. Reina refused my offer of company 'til her house, saying she'd be fine on her own. Her voice kept lowering to a whisper, and she wouldn't meet my eyes. Sometimes she would scan her surroundings with blank eyes. It baffled me even more, for I felt like this wasn't because of the night before. Well, I started to doubt it after her display of reticence. She walked off toward her subdivision, and I took the bus to school.

I couldn't help myself but think about her, that I didn't notice Shuuichi following me to my classroom. "What is it?" I irritably snapped. He didn't seem to care about my irritable state. I walked in a deserted hallway, which sounded eerie in my ears considering it was still too early to be at school in this hour. I shouldn't act this way, and I knew that, knowing fully well that he had show me love more than I deserved. He held my hands, and I felt tingles- but it was different. The tingling hurts... it's prickly, painful. "Kumiko, look... I know we've had rough times. And I'm really sorry from what I did before. I know you never really forgave me for it, but I want you to know that I r-really really l-like you..." I felt cold... I didn't want to hear it. What was I supposed to say? I froze so bad that I couldn't take my hand away nor look him in the eye. "I love you, Kumiko. I told you yesterday that... that I will always be there for you, no matter what. I want to be the person you rely on, in times of need. Just like yesterday. So... Will you go out with-"

"Kumiko," someone uttered, and I felt a multitude of emotions in a split second. I felt relief, shock, shame, ardor, and many others I could not pinpoint clearly. I turned and there she stood. Reina's voice calling out my name rang out so loudly, I felt it vibrate through the walls and the floor. The warmth had returned to my hands, and my attention finally snapped back and turned to her voice instead. She asked me to follow her to the rooftop, and I found the strength to let go of Shuuichi's grip.

The damp and cold air enveloped the two of us as Reina opened the rooftop's metal door. The rooftop dripped with rainwater, the whole space wafting a fresh atmosphere. We stood by the closed door, underneath the canopy that protruded from above, which formed a dry rectangle that it sheltered from the rain. We sat side by side leaning against the cold concrete, my body suddenly warming up from the close proximity. My eyes darted like everything else was interesting except her, which is of course the opposite.

"Kumiko." I paused, and tried to reply but only an embarassing squeak escaped from my lips. I cleared my throat. My eyes kept avoiding her gaze.

"Kumiko."

"Yeah?"

"Kumiko."

"W-What?"

"Kumiko... look at me." I didn't want to. She's going to ask me, and it's not like I'm looking forward to answering them honestly especially if it concerns her. But then I did. Her purple eyes glinted with determination, but a tinge of melancholy could be found in them. Strangely, I caught myself smiling, which gave a puzzled look on her face.

"You do know that your eyes are my most favorite sight. I have always liked getting lost in them," I blurted out, "They are just so beautiful." I laughed at my display of foolish confession, but Reina just kept a straight face that just gave way to the slightest hint of sadness. "Do you like him?" She asked.

"Depends. Like is... an ambiguous term for different kinds of feeling."

"Then let me rephrase it. Do you have romantic feelings for him? Anything at all?"

"No. Not at all. We could have been friends for a long time but I never saw him as a lover, nor a potential one." She sighed and slumped against my shoulder, and I mustered all of my willpower to not show any sign of intimacy.

"Kumiko," I shuddered at Reina's hot breath on my neck,I had to mentally purse my lips to not let out any sound. "Don't love him."

"I- I won't."

"Promise me, okay? I don't like him for you." I was battling whether I should hold her close or stay put, when she raised her head and cradled my cheek in her hand. "Kumiko," she said my name again, but with desperation this time. She looked at me differently, as if... with love. I held her gaze affectionately, her purple eyes dilating and glinting. _I don't know anymore_. I just looked down, her lips catching all of my attention. They were plump and rosy and I wished so badly I could kiss them. Slowly, she leaned over and kissed me on the cheek, my heartbeat racing and thumping loudly in my ribcage. The breath I took caught in my throat, and I knew I could not stop myself as my hand traveled to her waist, caressing them lovingly. I was scared out of my wits, but considering that she had no reaction and that she had taken the initiative, I was too lustful of her my mind had stopped functioning properly. Her thumb stroked my cheek softly, and as my hand traveled to entertwine with hers, she moved down my neck, her lips trailing off and pecking at whatever flesh it touched. My hands clasped hers as I ran out of breath,a small moan escaping from my lips as she bit at my shoulders. She then backed up weakly, bringing my entertwined hand to her lips and kissing it. I pursed my lips at the sight.

"Strange," she whispered, slumping back on my shoulder, "I feel... hot."


End file.
